FAIL

I am always surprised at my attitude concerning success. Success is elusive. It is measured on a scale of dollars and cents, profit vs loss and numerical values that are easily rendered, compiled and compared. If someone gave me $50 to invest ad I turned it into $500, then I am considered successful. (please, send me your cash. I'll make no guarantees, but I'd love to have it!)
Yesterday was one of the hardest days I have personally had as a worship pastor. Thursdays rehearsal was awesome. Everyone know their parts and we played them with excellence. I could not he wanted more from my group of musicians. Then Sunday rolled around. An entirely different group of circumstances developed. By the time we spent the 2 hours necessary to set up, it was apparent that we were in for a long day. We sound checked, and could not gel. Maybe it was me - maybe it was something far greater than me. That remains to be seen.
Regardless, we finally took the stage at 10:00 and plowed through. There was a moment during the second set that putting down the guitar and running seemed like a viable option, and it crossed my mind several times. Still, we played on and finished. I slunked off stage and slipped into my seat and felt defeated. Like I had just taken a test that I was destined to FAIL!

To my surprise people in the crowd later revealed to me that it was one of our best sets and that they loved the new tunes. People worshiped in spite of my best efforts to drive the car into the ditch. It is very strange to be on stage and be apart from the worship that is happening all around you. I think that at some point, my control needs to be relinquished.

I need to re-assess my view of success.