I am always surprised at my attitude concerning success. Success is elusive. It is measured on a scale of dollars and cents, profit vs loss and numerical values that are easily rendered, compiled and compared. If someone gave me $50 to invest ad I turned it into $500, then I am considered successful. (please, send me your cash. I'll make no guarantees, but I'd love to have it!)
Yesterday was one of the hardest days I have personally had as a worship pastor. Thursdays rehearsal was awesome. Everyone know their parts and we played them with excellence. I could not he wanted more from my group of musicians. Then Sunday rolled around. An entirely different group of circumstances developed. By the time we spent the 2 hours necessary to set up, it was apparent that we were in for a long day. We sound checked, and could not gel. Maybe it was me - maybe it was something far greater than me. That remains to be seen.
Regardless, we finally took the stage at 10:00 and plowed through. There was a moment during the second set that putting down the guitar and running seemed like a viable option, and it crossed my mind several times. Still, we played on and finished. I slunked off stage and slipped into my seat and felt defeated. Like I had just taken a test that I was destined to FAIL!
To my surprise people in the crowd later revealed to me that it was one of our best sets and that they loved the new tunes. People worshiped in spite of my best efforts to drive the car into the ditch. It is very strange to be on stage and be apart from the worship that is happening all around you. I think that at some point, my control needs to be relinquished.
I need to re-assess my view of success.
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2 comments:
I'm not sure if it's a function of music performance in general or a function of what God is doing during worship irregardless of the performance.
I'm on the worship team at my church here in NOLA and have had similar experiences when you feel like you've been through a train wreck of a performance during worship, you couldn't connect with your instrument let alone worship while you're playing and you feel miserable and it never fails, someone will come up to you after worship and say, 'man, I really thank you guys for the worship set, it blessed me in more ways than you know' and it floors me.
Sometimes it helps to know God is bigger than our successes and our failures.
fuel52: i completely relate to that post
93octane: knew you would
fuel52: scott does a good job
93octane: he does - he has a lot on his shoulders
fuel52: i wish i could play bass for him...
93octane: he does too lol
93octane: you can see how much worship means to him every sunday - how important it is to him
fuel52: it IS his relationship with God, some people connect with God better through prayer or service, Scott does through worship, it's a beautiful thing...
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